Stan - The Story behind my identity

Stan

History

So, it was during my class nine, I joined an IIT coaching class after acing the exam that institute conducted, secured 2nd highest mark in all of my district. Wow, oh yeah, so they offered me a scholarship for joining their coaching class. Yeah you guessed it right, I joined.

So for me, that was the first time I actually got to interact with alot of other school students. Of course I've been to many competitions, won quiet a bit, participated(not lost ;p) in some others. But all those time, I never actually interacted with others. For the most part, I used to hang out with seniors, who have contacts in other schools and they go interact with them in every competition we go, but I keep it with my seniors alone.

Expect The Unexpected

So for me, that was the first time I get to meet people from different schools and interacting with them on my own, without any of my seniors' influence. And that's how I met two characters, one is a friend who still talks to me at times and the other, you wouldn't believe me, is Nexus, who became my classmate in class 11; then became my pubg-mobile partner and now more like a bro to me.(Well technically I became his classmate)

For the first two weeks, they thought of me nothing more than a nerd since I was the one mostly answering all the questions the staff asks. And then one day, during recess, these two guys ganged up on me and asked me, "Nee eminem ketrukiya da?". I was like "no da" and the one guy pulled his mobile out and played Marshall Mathers by Eminem. That was the first time I was exposed to Eminem and that's his first song I listened to.

First Impression

The first time I heard him, I was like "bruh wot, what is he even saying". And a week after, "Why does he swear this much". But little did I know he'll make a big impact in my life and his work will become my identity. I used to look at my brother's pc and mobile whenever he's not around. And just like that, I found he do listen to eminem Xd.  All of us discontinued after a year. But I really liked my time there, every weekend. It's been 8 years already, damn I feel old.

So then I started listening to Eminem, to his old works, whenever I get a chance to. I used to write down the lyrics and hymn the tune because I didn't have a mobile back then, my tablet was confiscated, nothing to listen songs. So I rap his songs with gibberish of course. There was a point back then I was so frustrated, so fed up with everything and I started to have suicidal thoughts. 

Aftermath

It was at this point I learnt about his history, his past, his struggles, his heartbreaks, his near-death experiences, and his songs with powerful impact like not afraid, all these made me think otherwise. He quoted "I started learning how to not be so angry about things, learning how to count my f—ing blessings instead. By doing that, I’ve become a happier person, instead of all this self-loathing I was doing for a while.", to which I can relate back then, even now whenever I feel low. He made me understand giving up is not an option.

I proudly say Eminem saved my life because during the early 2013 to 2015, my life was highly unstable. If you get to know me, you'll surely lose your mind because that's how things have turned out to in my life. So many unbelievable, extraordinary, sad moments had happened throughout my life. So in order to honor him, I started using the term "stan" as my alias. And that's how I made a name for myself.

In 2019. "stan" was officially made a word. Before that, it was used to address Eminem's fans since his work with Dido, "stan" that talks about a fan obsessed with him. That's how I got that "stan" as my name. For nearly half a year, many people in my department thought Stan as my last name.

So, that's how I added stan as my last name and how people believed that's my name and made that as my identity. To this day, my college friends call me stan and I'm happy that things turned out this way.

Share your views and any of your interesting story in the comments. See you all in the next post.

Peace.